May 2008

She never saw her baby

She died just short of her 16th birthday, leaving behind a 2-month old son. Helen (not her real name) had made some bad decisions, but this tragic story involves others too.

First, her mother died—about three years ago. Father then abandoned his kids in favor of the lady he was seeing. Helen had to go and live with other relatives. Stories like this abound here in Zambia, where aunties, uncles, and grandparents raise the children.

Uncle lacked resources to pay Helen’s school fees, so a big man in town offered to help. It was this big man, the sponsor, who had sex with Helen. We call such fellows “Sugar Daddies” here.

They befriend young females, bestowing gifts and favors. For the girls, it’s exciting: all the money and attention. But seven months pregnant, Helen took a drink from some concoction that her Sugar Daddy gave her. The aim was abortion; the result, fetal stress. Helen went into clinic, and the clinic induced her labor.

She then delivered a preemie who had to go into hospital for about two weeks.

Helen meanwhile was beginning to bloat. Doctors would later describe her condition as “water on the heart”—whatever that means.  She herself went into hospital and remained there till her death. She never saw her own little boy, who now will be raised by other relatives.

Her funeral happened outdoors under a tree. Helen didn’t qualify for a service in church, having so disgraced herself, but several ministers showed up. And mourners came too, by the van and truck loads—classmates, relatives, and friends. Her casket arrived in the back of a little pickup. Her pallbearers searched for a level piece of ground.

The minister in charge asked Ted to give the sermon. Quickly, Ted chose the story in Luke 23 about the criminals who died alongside Jesus. The first one berated him, demanding rather loudly that Jesus get them all out of their fix. The second, admitting guilt, simply asked of Jesus, “Remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

Well, we believe that Helen likewise turned to Jesus as a result of many visitors who attended during her illness. We know for sure that Jesus forgives sinners—even at the very last moment. Therefore we believe that she is with him in paradise. It was a terrible price Helen paid for her mistake, but Jesus paid more so that she could go to heaven.

As for Sugar Daddy, somewhere in hiding: we hope he also will turn to Jesus before his time on earth runs out. We hope he will repent, and will take responsibility for the life of his little boy, if not for Helen’s death. We would rather be dead in the arms of Jesus than alive and carrying such a burden.

But there are others in the Bible—onlookers and crowds—who wag their heads and point fat fingers and say about the crucified: “That’s what they deserved.” If true, this begs a question: Okay, what do we deserve? Was Helen any worse than anyone else?

As her body was lowered down into the earth, young men wrestled with the casket to make it fit the grave. Then they shimmied out, and others began tossing dirt. Some of us were whispering gentle hymns as the busy shovels flew and the mound kept growing higher.

Father and stepmother placed their flowers first. Others followed suit, including us. A relative offered the obituary—about three sentences. Another thanked the guests, and we walked away.

Exiting the grounds, we passed a flatbed truck where 20 or 30 teenage girls—Helen’s age mates—were climbing aboard. Silently, we wondered which one of them would be next. It reminded us why we are here.

Ted and Sue

The 2008 Mission Yearbook for Prayer & Study, p. 22